Happy Birthday Sammy!

Samuel Ashish Marcus is my one and only brother, and the light of my life. He is THE most special person I know.

Now, I’m not saying this just because he’s my brother, or because it’s his birthday and it’s required of me to say something sentimental about him; but because that is one of the truest statements I have ever made. He is one of the few people I know that have gone through so much in life and still managed to keep the smile on his face and still continue to bring pure joy to the people around him.

My brother is Autistic…

Before the releases of movies like Forrest Gump and My Name Is Khan, almost every non-medical person (and even some medicos) I shared this with would go, “Huh? Say, what?” but now, thanks to cinema and Tom Hanks and Shahrukh Khan, everyone knows what Asperger’s syndrome and Autism are. What Taare Zameen Par did for Dyslexia, MNIK did for Autism.
But what they don’t know is that almost none of these lovely people have the opportunity to save the world like Rizwan Khan did, or become a super duper rich person entrepreneur with a beautiful wife that he loved, like Forrest did. Most of them just go through their entire life undiagnosed, unrecognized, labelled as “retards” and antisocial entities. Their parents have no idea what to do with them, how to cross the communication barrier, how to get in touch with their concept of reality. Because no one knows! The thought makes me weep.

I thank God every day, for the amazing people He put in our lives, who helped my parents recognize and acknowledge early on, that Sammy was different. That led us to seek help in the form of Dr. M.C. Matthew who was then in Chennai and then later shifted base to CMC, Vellore. God brought people into our lives at every corner of the road. People, who supported us, stood with us and most importantly encouraged us and Sammy every step of the way.

My brother has come a long way today. From the toddler; who ran out of the front gate before any of us realised he could walk, who used to endlessly spin in circles and wore holes in all his pullovers and jeans because he believed that the best way to get from one place to other was to crawl, and who communicated with cries and sounds. From the 5-7 year old who used to cycle around the whole campus for hours together, throw stones and spit randomly at people sometimes. From the preteen who broke his two front teeth on the floor and shattered the glass of a low-lying shelf coz he was trying to swim across the living room floor on a pillow. From the awkward teenager who won singing awards for his school but had no idea about voice control and how to hold a guitar leave alone play it and who found himself in a schoolroom with children half his age and IQ.

Sammy is 23 years old today. He is doing his first year Bachelor of Music from New Life College in Bangalore. He has self taught and more or less mastered the guitar and is taking lessons for piano (Grade V, Trinity College). He has won countless awards for his music and has been a resource person as well as role model for 2-3 Autism conferences already. He has solid and real conversations with his family and friends everyday. He loves his music, his family, his dog, his teachers, his friends and above all, his God… When he plays his music, people say they hear the angels sing :)

Sure he’s not perfect. He still has difficulties communicating and socialising with his peers, he takes time adjusting to new places and if he’s in a crowd you may pick up on some of his idiosyncrasies and wonder why. But hey… that sounds like a lot of us “normal” people anyway. It just shows that he has more to learn and a lot more to grow… He always uses the words of his favourite song to explain this:

“He’s still working on me,

To make me what I ought to be,
It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars,
The Sun and the Earth and Jupiter and Mars;
How loving and patient He must be,
He’s still working on me.”

On this day, his 23rd birthday, I’d like to thank my brother for what he means to me and for how much he has taught me about life, and love, and joy and just being a grateful person. I love you Sammy, Happy Birthday!

P.S. My mom tells me that we should get together and write a book on his life someday, just to encourage other similar families on their journey… We will, so look out for that :)